This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
