Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
