He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
