I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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