If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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