What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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