I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
