Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
