Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?