Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

I hate all girls vehemently.

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(516): I hate all girls vehemently. http://tfl.nu/rhf8

Replies (2) Good night (808) Bad night (1031)
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(415): View more from California

The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.

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(415): The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now. http://tfl.nu/v0wm

Replies (34) Good night (3002) Bad night (1032)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.

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(603): My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state. http://tfl.nu/6i4f

Replies (43) Good night (5267) Bad night (1745)
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(714): View more from California

I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.

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(714): I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's. http://tfl.nu/jhuh

Replies (7) Good night (5222) Bad night (993)
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(660): View more from Missouri

Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...

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(660): Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport... http://tfl.nu/e5jz

Replies (12) Good night (4247) Bad night (965)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.

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(303): I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it. http://tfl.nu/jr23

Replies (7) Good night (2444) Bad night (737)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.

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(720): I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me. http://tfl.nu/g7lo

Replies (22) Good night (3516) Bad night (1121)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.

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(570): hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help. http://tfl.nu/nfdk

Replies (11) Good night (2649) Bad night (976)
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(517): View more from Michigan

Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)

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(517): Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened) http://tfl.nu/by9k

Replies (9) Good night (1519) Bad night (487)
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(260): View more from Indiana

I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.

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(260): I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much. http://tfl.nu/tatw

Replies (5) Good night (978) Bad night (430)
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(620): View more from Kansas

Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.

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(620): Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams. http://tfl.nu/9m3g

Replies (7) Good night (1425) Bad night (504)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"

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(870): I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough" http://tfl.nu/ficv

Replies (2) Good night (1318) Bad night (237)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|

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(570): He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =| http://tfl.nu/59tx

Replies (5) Good night (210) Bad night (835)
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(+61): View more from Australia

Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me

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(+61): Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me http://tfl.nu/fiyb

Replies (4) Good night (527) Bad night (210)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for

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(847): I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for http://tfl.nu/6wjj

Replies (2) Good night (271) Bad night (457)

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