i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
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I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
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I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(