Its about making memories worth repressing
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
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When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
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But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!