just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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