Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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