Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
A bitchslap is in order.
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