i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Dear god my vagina.
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