the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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