why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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