We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
