Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
