I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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