i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
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Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
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he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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