They should really pass out barf bags in church
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
