Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
