Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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