You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
