He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
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he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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