I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm at about main and main street
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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