A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
