I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
