That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
