If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
