Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize