My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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