Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
did you just send me my own nude
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I have already put on my inside pants.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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