Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
