did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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