Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
do herpes really smell.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
