fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
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swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
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Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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