you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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