I am puke
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
