So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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