she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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