What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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