Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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