i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
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