I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
