My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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