i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i just google imaged poop.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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