whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
