marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
