Clothes are such an inconvenience.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
