My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize