Sry I called you an 8
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Someone came in the potted fern
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
