come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize