She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I want you more than these girls want KFC
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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