Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
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Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
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I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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