We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
