i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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