id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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