Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
