Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
