Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
