i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
