MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize