so explain again why im purple
no
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
