I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
