id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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