dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
