Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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